I have noticed something interesting in my 28 years of owning my fitness studio. Most people deflect the attention elsewhere when you give them a compliment. It almost seems to be done automatically without any forethought. Here are a few examples…
1. “You look so pretty this morning.”
“Really? I didn’t even have time to get ready, I just threw this on.”
________
2. “I love that dress on you, you look gorgeous.”
“This? Oh, I got it on sale.”
________
3. “You looked so beautiful and peaceful in svasana at the end of class today.”
“My mind was all over the place. I don’t think I relaxed very well.” ☺
________
#1. As soon as you hear a compliment do you go right to the opposite energy? For example someone says you look pretty and you tell them you feel fat, tired, etc. Or do you give an explanation for that compliment like ‘I just went to get my make up done’ or ‘This place must have good lighting.’ ☺
Quite often it is challenging for us to slow down long enough to let someone’s words land. We are always so quick to react, comment, deflect, and bounce from subject to subject. Next time someone tells you that you look pretty try to take one deep breath without saying anything. Simply breathe and then see how it feels to absorb the energy of that compliment. Eventually you can say ‘Thank You’, and that’s it. You don’t have to say it back to them, just let it be about you, take it in.
#2. When someone compliments your clothing try to find something about it you love as well instead of making it about the price or where you got it. See how you feel in the clothing. Do you feel pretty, skinny, handsome, sexy, girly? Take the compliment as an opportunity to turn inwards and see how you feel. When someone tells me they love a dress I am wearing I would say, ‘Thank you so much, I love wearing dresses, they make me feel pretty.’
#3. If someone sees something in you then it is their truth, it is what they are seeing in you. I find this one particularly interesting because I couldn’t see the peace in someone’s expression if there wasn’t peace radiating from that person. When someone tells you how peaceful you look but you are having a different experience try to stay with what they are saying, at least for a moment; a breath.
This will help you shift your perspective from your own thoughts and opinion of yourself and open you up to allowing a different truth to come in. Then you can say something like, ‘Thank you so much for sharing that, I had a slightly different experience but trust that if you saw that then somewhere in me I am at peace.’ And by saying that out loud you are confirming it as your own truth. Knowing that there is some part of you at peace that is visible to the world is your path towards greater peace for yourself.
You are beautiful, inside and out; always and in all ways. Be mindful of your thoughts and always believe a compliment, it just makes sense to. ☺