I have noticed something interesting during my 28 years of owning a fitness studio. Most people deflect compliments. They do it automatically without any forethought. Here are a few examples …
“You look so pretty this morning.”
“Really? I didn’t even have time to get ready; I just threw this on.”
“I love that dress on you; you look gorgeous.”
“This? Oh, I got it on sale.”
“You looked so beautiful and peaceful in svasana at the end of class today.”
“My mind was all over the place. I don’t think I relaxed very well.”
As soon as you hear a compliment, do you go right to the opposite energy? When someone says you look pretty, do you tell them you feel fat, tired, etc.? Or do you give an explanation for that compliment like, “I just went to get my makeup done,” or “This place must have good lighting?”
Quite often it is challenging for us to slow down long enough to let someone’s words absorb. We are always so quick to react, comment, deflect and bounce from subject to subject. Next time someone tells you that you look good, try to take a deep breath without saying anything. Simply breathe and then see how it feels to absorb the energy of that compliment. Say “Thank you,” and that’s it. You don’t have to compliment them back; just take it in.
When someone compliments your clothing, try to find something about it you love as well instead of making it about the price or where you got it. See how you feel in the clothing. Do you feel pretty, skinny, handsome, sexy, girly? Take the compliment as an opportunity to turn inwards and see how you feel. When someone tells me they love a dress I am wearing I say, “Thank you so much. I love wearing dresses; they make me feel pretty.”
If someone sees something in you, it is their truth. It is what they are seeing in you. I can’t see peace in someone’s expression if there isn’t peace radiating from that person. When someone tells you how peaceful you look but you are having a different experience, try to stay with what they are saying, at least for a moment.
This will help you shift your perspective from your own thoughts and opinions of yourself and open you up to allow a different truth to come in. Then you can say something like, “Thank you so much for sharing that. I had a slightly different experience, but trust that if you saw that then somewhere in me I am at peace.” And by saying that out loud, you are confirming it as your own truth. Knowing that there is some part of you at peace that is visible to the world is your path toward greater peace for yourself.
You are beautiful, inside and out, always, in all ways. Be mindful of your thoughts, and choose to believe the compliments you receive.
Dove is a regular contributor to Bowflex Insider bowflexinsider.com, a trusted source for news and information on health and fitness.
Dove is a regular contributor to Bowflex Insider bowflexinsider.com, a trusted source for news and information on health and fitness.