Every day I get a little more present with the future. I know that doesn’t make sense so I will explain.
Every passing day I notice that November 17 is getting closer. At least once a day I sit with myself and spend some time to see how I am doing. I check in with myself and see what I need in that moment, in that day. What do I need to eat or drink today; is it different than yesterday? Who do I want to spend time with today, or do I need to be alone? Do I need to stay home and nestle in my sacred space or is it a day I can go out in the world and co-exist with humanity?
I drop into myself and listen intently to see how I am doing and what my needs are because I know this time is tender for me. It is always tender since my mother has left but this time is especially delicate so I listen with even more patience and loving kindness towards myself.
I am very aware of what is coming; yes, it is just a day like any other but it is also a day that marks another full year of her not being with me; not breathing, not laughing, smiling, sharing, asking, touching, feeling life, not being my ‘person’ here on earth.
I am present with what is right now and right now I am okay but I am willing to listen to what tomorrow will bring and see how I am doing then. I continue to learn as I walk through this journey of constant healing; always gaining more and more wisdom with every step.
I hope you are able to be present in all of your moments and listen to what your needs are, moment to moment. I hope you are able to be extra kind and loving with yourself during delicate times.
I send you extra love and support to be extra present during those times.