How I live my life

Many people ask me how I stay so organized and how I manage my life the way I do. I provide a lot of this wholistic life coaching in my sessions with clients but I am feeling drawn to share some of this so here I go…

It’s simple really, I deal with things as soon as they need to be dealt with.

For example:

  • If I get a bill, I pay it. If it isn’t due yet, I post date the bill pay with my bank.
  • If I make a purchase with a credit card, I pay it off in full every month. I don’t believe in debt. My mother was on her way to file her third bankruptcy and I had bailed her out from under her financial struggles many times. Being her witness was very painful for me but it taught me a lot. I use those lessons daily.
  • If something hurts in my body, I make an appointment to see one of my amazing healing practitioners. If it doesn’t go away, I do a blood draw and see my holistic internist and have him explain what my blood is communicating on behalf of my entire body.
  • My husband happens to be an extremely well organized, slightly obsessive (like me) human being so we both keep the household items in order.
  • We do laundry as soon as there is a full load so it never overflows.
  • We do the dishes and clean the kitchen after each meal. (Usually it is whoever doesn’t cook does the dishes):)
  • If I have errands to do, I do them. I don’t put them off.
  • If I am out of something in the pantry, I put it in my shopping cart so I don’t forget.
  • I keep all my money organized in my wallet, bills facing the same way and all my large change goes in my car for parking meters. I put pennies in rolls and change out at the bank so my purse doesn’t get heavy with change.
  • If I get a parking ticket, I come home and pay it.
  • If I want something, I go get it.
  • If I have credit at a store, I go use it. I feel a sense of order if my gift cards are spent as well. If I don’t need anything, then I buy presents for other people.
  • When I notice I am running low on something I reorder it as soon as I notice it; I don’t wait until I run out.
  • If I receive an email, I answer it. If it is work related, I answer it during business hours so that I have some structure to my life and I am not always ‘on’.
  • I keep my inbox empty
  • If I receive a text, I answer it as long as it is not too early or too late, and unless I have ‘unplugged’.
  • I unsubscribe from every email I receive that I do not want.
  • I comment, like, heart, or respond to every single correspondence I receive; both personally or professionally so that the individual feels seen, heard and acknowledged because every exchange of energy is important to me.
  • I shred everything with our name, address, or any personal information as soon as I receive it in the mail.
  • I call every single company that sends me junk mail, or catalogues, and ask to be removed from mailing list in order to try to be a waste-free home.
  • I keep an array of birthday cards, get well soon, just saying hello, etc. note cards on hand for any need that may come up so I don’t have to rush to the store last minute.
  • I give away books I no longer need or want so that someone else may enjoy them.
  • I give away clothes and shoes I don’t wear or doesn’t fit anymore so they don’t clutter my space.

I notice as I wrote that list, that I haven’t always done some of these things. Some of them I realize I have implemented since my mother died. For those of you who understand what trauma and grief does to the mind and to the nervous system, you will know what I am talking about.

It is a necessity for me now to have things calm in my life. For example, putting off doing my taxes and waiting until the last minute would create such a whirlwind of anxiety for me that it would set off my PTSD and trigger my nervous system to go out of whack, which would throw my hormones off, interrupt my sleep, impact my digestion, deplete my energy, bring me into a funk and I would lean towards poor food choices, irritability and definite sadness.

All of that because I was avoiding doing something that inevitably I knew I would have to do anyways. I made a commitment shortly after my mother’s death, that I would deal with things head on just like I dealt with her suicide. It allows me to be able to handle whatever it is that I am dealing with because I am in the best possible space of grounded, conscious, present energy that provides me all my tools to live life the way I want.

I want to stress the fact that I am not doing any of the above mentioned things in a sense of haste or hurry; that too would also create an imbalance in my life’s harmony. The picture I want to paint for you is one of calm presence; a walk along the beach with your cuffs rolled up, not caring if you get them wet, a sense of ease and non-effort.

I realize one might read this and it could come off as ‘always on’ or ‘never letting yourself not do things’; that isn’t the case at all. Not everything in life can be addressed right away and I am very aware of that and okay with that. This practice allows me to be at peace with what is no matter what. It implements an essence of effortlessness and ease, and for me, this is the best thing for my nervous system and it keeps my life in order quite beautifully.

Basically what this allows me to do is live a life without a To Do List or things to remember. I never feel like I have a lot to do. My approach has always been, since I was a teenager and first starting to run my business, something needs attention-give it the attention it needs right then and there; always. This one-pointed focus and concentration happens to also define my mindfulness practice and how I work with each client in my business as well.

I feel light and free in my life and I attribute a lot of it to these habits I have intuitively created in my life without much effort; it is more or less my auto reply to life. Something comes into my field, I notice it and address it.

Now, this is not to say that there aren’t times in my life when I do nothing at all. But this is what is so great about addressing one’s life in this manner, I feel like I am always choosing the lighter path; the path of ease and non-effort. When I rest, or ‘unplug’ from technology, I do so with a sense of completion like there is nothing I am avoiding or escaping from and nothing will be piled up when I step back into that part of my life. I am always able to retreat into mySelf with radical permission and zero guilt.

Another great side effect of all of this is I am always excited to check my inbox, look at my texts or check my social media accounts, go to work, see my clients, teach my classes, run errands, pay bills, etc. Because I am so ready and able to be present with whatever is there for me to address in that moment. I don’t have a pile of things from days prior, or perhaps even weeks or months.

For example, if a client wants me to order them a product, as soon as I leave their home, or our session, I order it. When it arrives, I put it in my car for them so I don’t forget it when I see them next. That’s easy for me; that’s logical to me.

Each task in my life is so important to me and I feel so honored to get to live this life that I admit I have a sense of excitement to get to show up for life like this. While I am writing this I realize that I also imprinted a lot of this from my magical and masterful mother. Growing up and watching her be the human she was, allowed me to witness the art of living mindfully and radically caring about life, her body, mind and Spirit.

Funny, huh? I choose to live my life a certain way because it helps me stay calm and grounded when coping with the trauma of losing my mother and being the daughter of a mother who killed herSelf. And I also see that I live my life in these ways perhaps because it has been somewhat colored by growing up as her daughter. I have always said that my mother taught me what I needed to know to be able to handle her suicide. Ironic, huh?

So, once again, I bow to her and her teachings. I am so grateful to be my mother’s daughter and I feel so blessed to have had 40 years to learn and study under her and absorb these techniques by osmosis. I now can add the layer of awareness and consciousness to them in order to truly, and fully, embody who I am today.

I trust that when I am drawn to share things that it means someone needs to hear it, read it. So, I hope this lands on someone, somewhere and offers a bit of light on their/your path.

Love to you all.